Eat the Dirt

A dedicated follower of the Scottish music scene may have heard of Alestorm. A group of small-town university students playing in a band together, winning the respect – and in some cases resentment – of their peers and taking on what the world has to throw at them. You’ve heard it all before, right? Perhaps not, as this particular band’s entire works revolve solely around one thing: pirates.

Since 2004, Alestorm – who originate from the Fife and Perth areas – have been pillaging the underground metal scene with their own brand of ‘True Scottish Pirate Metal’ and songs with such swashbuckling titles as ‘Terror On The High Seas’, ‘Set Sail And Conquer’ and ‘Wenches And Mead’. In 2007 they signed a deal with Napalm Records and released their debut album ‘Captain Morgan’s Revenge’ in 2008, and its favourable reviews saw the band embark on countless tours across the UK, Europe and America, and numerous festivals with some of the biggest names in rock ‘n’ roll. This year’s sophomore effort ‘Black Sails At Midnight’ has kept the winds of fortune in their mast.

Standing on a cold steel fire escape of the Cathouse in Glasgow, the band spilled the beans on their excessive tour schedule and future plans.

Ahoy there, me hearties! How has the tour been for ye so far?
Dani [Evans, guitars]: Excellent! It’s been great, but we’ve been really busy. We’ve had a lot of big shows on this tour, a couple of cracking festivals. We’ve just come back from Hammerfest in Wales, which was packed, then there was Ragnarok Festival. The crowds have been fantastic. It looks like tonight is going to be the same.

How was America?
Gareth [Murdock, bass]: Anyone who’s been to America knows how cool it is. All these people who haven’t been and say ‘America‘s shit, it’s full of dicks,’ they’re just liars. America’s cool. End of. I don’t think a bad thing happened to us there. I would move there tomorrow if I could.
Dani: Best place in the world. It’s fucking awesome.

Anything interesting happen on the road?
Chris [Bowes, vocals/keyboards]: In Hollywood, we met a guy dressed as a bear who challenged us to a game of marbles. I won, and then I invited him to come on-stage with us, and he did, and he rocked out. I also discovered that in San Francisco, there is a metric fuck-tonne of sea lions.
Dani: It was interesting.
Chris: There’s this place, Pier 39, it’s a tourist area. You’re in the middle of the city, then you just walk round the corner to the shore, and there’s this mountain of sea lions just chilling out.

Did you try to ride one?
Chris: Erm…

Gareth, you have just joined Alestorm. How does playing and recording with Alestorm compare to playing and recording with your previous band, Waylander?
Gareth: I love being in Alestorm because I like to tour. I loved Waylander, I had many happy years with them, but there weren’t enough shows. I’m happy with my decisions. I do wish Waylander the best, we saw them at Hammerfest and they were fantastic.

Do you think it was anything to do with Alestorm’s success that made you want to leave Waylander for them?
Dani: No, we got him drunk and he said yes.
Gareth: Not particularly. I’ve known these guys for years, since before they were a band, and I love their music. It wasn’t a case of ‘Do you wanna join this band that’s doing really well?’

Not to discredit your band, but how long do you envision the pirate gimmick lasting? Is there a set number of albums or length of time you intend on doing this, or will you continue indefinitely?
Dani: About two and a half more hours.
Gareth: I’d like to think that it’ll never get old, but we’ve got to deal with the fact that it probably will.
Chris: Fuck these guys, I’ll just start a new band that sings about something else.

On your new CD, ‘Black Sails At Midnight‘, there are more serious, epic tones on tracks such as ‘To The End Of Our Days’. Is this a sign of things to come from Alestorm, or do you always plan to keep an element of silliness?
Chris: I only wrote that song ’cause we don’t have any songs where people get the lighters out. But yeah, maybe one in ten songs will be ‘serious’, but most of it will be dicking around. Unfortunately, I’m well aware that we’re a complete and utter joke of a band, and unless we do comedic songs, we’re gonna die out.

If you could keelhaul anyone in real life, who would it be, and why?
Chris: Chris Boltendahl from Grave Digger. We went on tour in Germany with his band, and all I can say is, never tour with old people. They’re all like ‘we don’t drink, we’re professional, money, money, money.’ He looks like a beekeeper. I hope all his bees die and he goes bankrupt.
Gareth: My choice would be Chris Boltendahl, the singer from Grave Digger. He’s got a beekeeper’s face, and he called us something that I think means a pack of dicks in German.
Dani: I think I’m gonna have to go with… Chris Boltendahl (laughs). But he really is just the most stuck-up, pretentious twat ever. I hope he dies in an accident involving bees.
Ian [Wilson, drums]: Chris Boltendahl, and Chris Bowes, ‘cause he’s a c**t.

So, it’s evident that you don’t think much of Grave Digger. Did you enjoy the actual tour with them?
Chris: No, it was shit.
Dani: Terrible.
Gareth: That was my first tour with Alestorm. I had a really good time! I loved every second of it. (pauses) I’ll get my coat.
Dani: You’re already wearing it. Just fuck off!
Gareth: (laughs) Really, though, I thought it was crackin’.

Kraken? Isn’t that a mythical seabeast? You could do a song about one.
Dani: We already did one about a leviathan!

A leviathan is different from a kraken!
Chris: Ooh, look at me, I know about mythical seabeasts, ooh!

At this point several members of the band go off in search of more alcohol and the interview comes to an end. There is a distinct air of friendship between the band members; high album sales and critical acclaim aside, they still come across as four young Scots who enjoy nothing more than knocking back a few cans and having some laughs, the latter of which there is an abundance of throughout my time with them. As Dani Evans himself puts it, they are not rockstars, but simply ‘fans with backstage passes.’

Alestorm’s second album ‘Black Sails At Midnight‘ is out now on Napalm.