AC/DC – ‘Black Ice’
(179 words)
The most common stocking-filler for any rock fan this Christmas was undoubtedly ‘Black Ice’, the fifteenth studio album by Scoto-Australian legends AC/DC. With a completely sold-out European tour on the horizon (every ticket for a date at Glasgow’s Hampden Park being gone within an hour) and countless features in magazines, anticipation of the band’s comeback is bordering on hysterical. However, this is before one takes into account the actual quality of the album – is it worthy of such attention? The answer is yes, and no. Tracks such as lead single ‘Rock ‘N’ Roll Train’ and funk rock number ‘Money Made’ are destined to be immortalised in AC/DC’s catalogue of hits, but much of the album is typical AC/DC cannon fodder which can be a chore to listen to in longer listening sessions. It is, however, just that – typical AC/DC. Thirteen-minute epic ballads cannnot be expected from this band at this stage in their career, and that the Aussies are still capable of producing their trademark fiery sound after thirty-five years is reason enough to celebrate their return.

Alestorm – ‘Captain Morgan’s Revenge’
(195 words)
Scotland has been well-noted for its continuous musical exports, from the Bay City Rollers to Franz Ferdinand, but our latest offering comes in the form of something a little bit different. Hailing from Perth are Alestorm, a four-piece who play a combination of Scottish folk melodies and heavy metal, conveniently dubbed Scottish Pirate Metal. The ten tracks on this debut album (available now) cover a range of themes all associated with the pirate life – mainly treasure – through an epic, grandiose sound that one wouldn’t think could possibly be made by four young Scotsmen. The level of musicianship is stunning, the instrumental duels between guitarist Gavin Harper and keyboard player Christopher Bowes being particularly impressive, not to mention the rich grooves present courtesy of bassist Dani Evans and thundering drumwork of sessionist Migo Wagner. It’s certainly something different, and love it, hate it or laugh at it, it’s certainly entertaining and a breath of fresh air from the recent wave of indie bands coming from the country. Tours with established acts and slots on many international festivals should ensure Alestorm keep Scotland on the map in terms of musical produce for the foreseeable future.

Gallows – ‘Staring At The Rude Bois’
(119 words)
In a world of young bands readily willing to bend over backwards for greedy record label executives, as well as popular over-indulgent musical groups taking themselves far too seriously, the soul purpose of music is easily overlooked: entertainment. This is not the case with fast-rising stars Gallows, an uncompromising punk rock quintet from Hemel Hempstead. Originally released in 1980 by The Ruts, this cover sees the traditional frenzied guitar riffs and pounding drums of punk meet the spit of singer Frank Carter, who could give John Lydon a run for his money. The band’s evident passion, sing-along hooks and guest appearance from London rap artist Lethal Bizzle will ensure the single fares well upon its release on November 19th.

Guns N’ Roses – ‘Chinese Democracy’
(218 words)
Fifteen years. It took fifteen years, but it finally happened. Guns N’ Roses’ ‘Chinese Democracy’, the self-proclaimed ‘most anticipated album ever’, hit the shelves at the end of last year. Lead singer Axl Rose – the only remaining original member – had faced criticism for quite some time due to the inexplicable amount of time it took for him to make the record, emphasized by the fact his ex-bandmates (who include bassist Duff McKagan and iconic top hat-sporting guitarist Slash) had made their own solo efforts and two entire full-length releases with their new group Velvet Revolver during the period. Sadly, it cannot be said that it was definitely worth the wait. While the album inarguably has its moments, the groove metal stomp of ‘Shackler’s Revenge’ being a particular highlight, the album all too frequently plods along, the inevitably over-produced tracks often sounding too diluted to hold attention. The whole thing is helplessly overshadowed by the fact it took from 1993 till now to make, while countless albums by Guns N’ Roses’ peers have earned more admiration and appreciation since then. Whether the album will stand the test of time and rekindle fans’ interest, or be the final nail in the coffin of a band that many have already given up on, is for the future to tell.

Iron Maiden – ‘Somewhere Back In Time’
(158 words)
Few bands can stay together for over thirty years without ever stopping, but even fewer can do so while remaining an inspiration to countless others for the whole of their professional career. One such band are British rock legends Iron Maiden, and this new release (available now) highlights the best material from their ‘golden era’ of 1980-1989. From the spine-tingling opening of Churchill’s speech and ‘Aces High’, the album is a tour de force of the songs that defined the band’s career, including live anthem ‘Run To The Hills’ and the seminal ‘The Number Of The Beast’, as well as live renditions of more obscure tracks such as ‘Phantom Of The Opera’ and ‘Wrathchild’. With rumours of the band’s metaphorical train slowly coming to a halt, this collection is a fitting tribute to arguably the world’s best heavy metal band, and will serve as a reminder of their timeless contribution to music for a long time to come.

Mötley Crüe – Saints Of Los Angeles
(206 words)
Fame is said to have its downsides, and there are few bands whose careers support this idea as much as those of the four individuals who make up Mötley Crüe. Their 27-year career has seen Vince Neil, Mick Mars, Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee endure long-term addiction, prison sentences, troubled relationships with family and friends, and even death. Although the fearsome four are arguably known more for their substance abuse than their musical substance, they have overcome the odds and unleashed ‘Saints Of Los Angeles’ – their ninth studio album – upon the world. Reverting back to the melodic, accessible sound of their classic ‘Dr. Feelgood’ album but incorporating a more dangerous heavy metal edge, the band recall stories of their rise and fall through aptly named tracks such as ‘Chicks = Trouble’, ‘The Animal In Me’ and ‘Face Down In The Dirt’, all of which feature instantly memorable hooks and the Crüe’s trademark sassy lyrics. Glam metal is often – and probably always will be – accused of superficiality and smirked at for its attempted audacity, but there is no denying that here, Mötley Crüe have produced a heartfelt album with more integrity than many current popular bands half their age could ever hope to.

The Surrogate Pink Floyd Show
Clydebank Town Hall, December 2007
(224 words)
One could be forgiven for thinking that Clydebank had been paid a visit by rock legends Pink Floyd after witnessing the performance in the town hall on the first of the month. In actual fact it was a Glasgow-based tribute act who go by the name of The Surrogate Pink Floyd Show, and who stop at nothing to recreate the legendary live spectacle of their heroes. Strobe lights flash and dry ice fills the stage as the band power through Floyd classics such as ‘Money’, ‘Wish You Were Here’, ‘Shine On You Crazy Diamond’ (dedicated to the late Syd Barrett) and of course, ‘Another Brick In The Wall’. Lead singer Jer emulates David Gilmour’s vocals extremely well, while his bandmates prove themselves to be exceptional musicians, in particular guitarist Joe who flawlessly performs the guitar pieces of Gimour and Waters note-for-note. Each song is met with tremendous applause from the relatively small audience, which the band feed off of; ‘Are all Clydebank people this nice?’ they ask, before launching into songs from Floyd’s ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ album, also suggesting that everyone buys two copies of the Post when they are featured. The future of the real Pink Floyd is uncertain at the moment, but while tributes as authentic as The Surrogate Pink Floyd Show are around, little is left to be desired.

Those seeking a small break from the main stage action, or who don’t like Arch Enemy, are offered the choice of getting drunk as shit in the campsites or seeing rising symphonic metallers Pythia (4/5) on the Sophie Lancaster Stage. A sound suspiciously reminiscent of Nightwish is vindicated by the fact these guys can play, and that frontwoman Emily Ovenden’s haunting voice and stage presence seamlessly swell to fill this half empty (or maybe half full?) marquee where drunken hairy blokes will later be hollering along to Journey and Kansas in a late-night karaoke before the first night of metal madness comes to an end.

The death ‘n’ roll stylings of Entombed (3/5) kick off the next day’s proceedings in a suitably bowel-bothering fashion, before a rather tinny-sounding Candlemass (2/5) pretend to be Rainbow for a while. Speed metal heroes Kreator (4/5) then kick the action up a notch or ten and really get the heads banging through new (‘Hordes Of Chaos’) and old (‘Pleasure To Kill’) offerings alike.

Blind Guardian (5/5) provide the perfect soundtrack to a setting sun. From the moment opener ‘Time Stands Still (At The Iron Hill)’ snakes through the P.A., the audience is captured in a world of sonic majesty, technical grandeur, soulful melodies, and hobbits. Vocalist Hansi Kürsch bellows ‘Nightfall’, shrieks ‘Fly’ and leads the fellowship in an extended, a cappella rendition of the inevitable ‘Valhalla’, remaining nothing less than charming all the while; he’s probably the only man who can pour such emotion into a song called ‘Lord Of The Rings’ and not look like a twat. Truly a highlight of the festival.

It’s a shame that one particular festival attendee does not see it appropriate that headliners Cradle Of Filth (4/5) should play for the duration of their stated set time this evening. After a run through of staples, including ‘Dusk And Her Embrace’ and ‘Nymphetamine’, as well as some new abominations and lovely surprises such as ‘Shat Out Of Hell’ and ‘Under Huntress Moon’, ‘missiles’ are thrown at the band, and injury forces them to retreat back into their coffins to slumber until next time. An unfortunate ending to a spectacular evening, all thanks to one selfish fucking arsehole.

Even working on a day of rest, small technical difficulties, an incompetent soundman and a smaller crowd than they deserve doesn’t stop Girlschool (5/5) from rocking out with their metaphorical (let’s hope) cocks out. Classic metal tunes come by the truckload, delivered with a speed and volume that would put the band’s male counterparts – Motörhead – to shame. Kim McAuliffe pours charisma, wit and attitude like Lemmy does Jack Daniel’s on his cereal, and raises laugh after laugh from the crowd – and they’re not pity ones either. ‘C’mon Let’s Go’, ‘Hit And Run’ and ‘Not For Sale’ get some heads nodding along, and by the time ‘Race With The Devil’ and ‘Emergency’ are aired, there’s air-guitaring, headbanging and dancing all over – both on-stage and off-. Doomy rockers Anathema’s (3/5) sleepy drawl couldn’t be better suited to a lazy Sunday afternoon drinking beer in the sunshine, and their appearance makes a welcome change of pace.

Right, that’s enough slow shit for this weekend – bring on Turisas (4/5). It’s the Finns’ last show of a two-and-a-half year tour, but, far be it from them to get it over with quickly, today’s performance is packed with the anthems and stage antics that have catapulted the Viking warriors into the big league since the release of 2007’s ‘The Varangian Way’. Yes, of course there’s a uniting ‘Battle Metal’. Yes, of course there’s a metal cover of Boney M.’s ‘Rasputin’ with each side of the audience trying to out-do each other in call-and-response throughout. Yes, of course they fire confetti everywhere at the end, only for the streamers to stick to the lighting rig and ruin Satyricon’s (5/5) dark, gothic set-up later in the night. It doesn’t matter though, because Satyricon are on fire tonight. Not literally, of course, although the Flames of Hades do burn in frontman Satyr’s eyes as he works the crowd into a moshing frenzy for ‘Fuel For Hatred’ and gets every fist in the air for ‘Now, Diabolical’. As the chilling refrains of ‘Mother North’ screech into the night air, a sense of wonderment – almost trepidation – spreads over the masses. Following all of this ferocity are the band who wrote ‘The Final Countdown’. What will happen when Joey Tempest and his merry men step out in front of this type of crowd?

The answer is: nothing out of the ordinary. Europe (3/5) fare well tonight, delivering a foolproof set of hard rock songs that get most people clapping along upon request. The problem is, however, that the band are so overlooked (especially by this clientele) that it just doesn’t really work. ‘Rock The Night’ and ‘Start From The Dark’ are powerful songs in the right setting, but in a field of pissed-up extreme metal fans who want crushing riffs, beer and laughs, the only track that gets a response is… well, you know which one it is. Leaving the main stage for the final time of the weekend, one wonders if a much more suitable band should have just laid waste to the last night of a great Bloodstock Festival. Either way, where’s the bar…